Connect Group Guide

James 4:1-10

Theme: This week, we are continuing a marriage series called “When Sinners say I do.” Our focus for the week will be on some  common problems many marriages face: sex, money, & communication. As we discuss these things in a practical sense, it’s important to remember that these things aren’t our real issue. The root of the problem in any marriage will eventually lead to the Gospel and our forgetfulness of it.

Major Points:

  1. Marriage & Sex

Just like all other things, our view of sex is defined by tradition. We are shaped to view sex a certain way and unfortunately for many it isn’t a Godly view but a perverted one. The truth is that sex was created by God and intended to be a picture of the Gospel. Sex (inside the confines of marriage) is about unification, a husband and wife becoming one, just as the oneness of Christ and the church. Revelation uses the imagery of a bride and groom to picture Christ and his people coming together for eternity. Sex requires sacrifice and trust, we have to be vulverable and reveal our nakedness with one another in hopes of them accepting us as we are. Many details of the way God designed sex was to remind us of the Gospel. The problem for many is that instead of serving our spouse through sex (or controlling ourselves in our singleness) we allow selfishness to dictate how we practice this gift. Sex becomes more about me, it becomes gross instead of good, and it becomes the God of our life. We begin to value the momentary pleasure for ourselves more than we value our spouse. 

  1. Marriage & Money  

God’s desire for you when it comes to money is contentment, stewardship, and generosity. Two people joined in marriage should strive toward these things together in order to honor God in their finances. Contentment comes when Christ is our ultimate treasure. Stewardship comes when we realize that God is using our money to restore His kingdom and image in the world (not just in our lives alone, but he is using our money to restore other people's lives as well). Generosity comes when we realize the generosity we’ve already been shown in Christ. The Gospel frees us from greed and a lack of contentment because if we are in Christ we know our treasure is in heaven. The Gospel compels us to make the name of Christ known in the world so we will utilize all of our resources to accomplish this goal. The Gospel creates a heart in us that wants to bless others in the pursuit of representing Jesus.

  1. Marriage & Communication 

It’s no secret that communication (or lack of) can destroy a marriage. Instead of selfishly letting pride keep us from pursuing God together, we should use communication to strengthen our bond in Christ. Build each other up in love constantly, when fighting we should communicate with grace, and communicate about your relationship with Christ. The key to your spouses spiritual health is a clear line of communication on how you’re doing. 

Question Bank: 

  1. How has your week been spiritually? / What is God teaching you?

  2. What sins are you struggling with that you need to confess?

  3. How has your view of sex been shaped up to this point in your life?

  4. How has your view of sex hurt your spouse?

  5. What are some issues that are keeping you from using sex in a Godly way?

  6. What are your next steps in shifting to a Godly view of sex?

  7. What has been the most difficult situation in your marriage when it comes to money? How could it have been handled differently to portray the Gospel better?

  8. In what ways have you found contentment (in what ways haven’t you)?

  9. What does it look like to steward your money the way God intended?

  10. What parts of our money should we steward?

  11. How do you plan to communicate better this week?